The basic premise is their is (or should be) a hierarchy of spaces in a building and their level of privacy. In a private home it typically would not be acceptable to open the front door and enter the bathroom. And while our contemporary homes have lost some of the formality that previously existed regarding which room could enter into another, we still maintain some sense of privacy in our spaces. Despite the growing popularity of the ensuite, most of us would not be comfortable with the concept of an open bathroom to the bedroom, as we are the kitchen to the living area.
In a similar way, in our relationships with others, whether physical or virtual, follow a similar logic. There is some information we wish to guard and only privilege certain individuals with. So while I might feel comfortable introducing myself to a new person with a story of where I am from and how I came to NZ, I might not feel as comfortable telling them about the most embarrassing moment in my life, or a moment that I am shameful of. We have boundaries which determine the relationship we have with others.
In the physical environment we can evaluate on a millisecond by millisecond basis how a conversation is going with a person and judge our conversation accordingly. As discussed in several of the links provided earlier, web design is a little more difficult. Due to the nature of programming (I'm not going to pretend to have a particular knowledge here) one is either in or out. One can try to develop layers, but it is difficult to develop a layered information approach similar to the human mind.
The result is that we are given little choice regarding transparency when we are online. We may be provided with a static number of levels - for example in facebook if you are not a friend you cannot view someone's profile. But how do you separate the co-worker/friend from the friend from youth who knows you one way, from the college friend who knows you another way? So we tend to reveal to the level we think we're comfortable with, often thinking that we're only revealing for the audience that we want to address. If I'm on a dating site, I might want to appear a certain way, but if I knew my grandmother was going to see the same profile, I might not be so keen to portray myself that way.
I have a group of friends who I have known since for 15 years. We are mean and provocative towards each other on a daily basis via email. If anyone else were to intercept an email between us, the rebuke would be scathing. In the 15 years we have developed our own language of interaction, where what we write might not actually say what the casual observer may read. Part of this is based in our face to face interactions with each other. I think it is fair to say that we would never had developed such a relationship if we had not known each other in real life first. There are issues like sarcasm and layered meaning that computers and technology do not deal with well. They are nuances that humans don't have a 100% performance record on, so it would be hard for us to programme anything to interpret correctly.
So where does this leave us? Does the new generation of technology and interfaces provide us with the potential for new connections? Does it alienate us from each other? Does it strain existing relationships, or does is strengthen them? These are all issues of intimacy.
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